Twelve Days Later

I thank God for another year. Every moment I have is a gift from God. This has always been the case, but since my wife was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia in early November I have a greater appreciation for each day. Although, my appreciation is not, by any stretch of the imagination, perfect. I thank God for repentance!

Twelve days into the new year and the truth remains the same. God is faithful, I am a sinner, and He has forgiven me of all my sins due to the blessed work of His dear Son Jesus Christ on the cross. For the sake of Christ God has adopted me as His child. God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

A question about whether or not I have changed my perspective regarding truth was posed to me in light of my wife's cancer diagnosis. The answer is, of course, yes. My perspective has changed and I now know that it is Christ who is carrying me. I am weak, but He is strong! I repent! If anything, the crisis my family is in at the moment has made me so very thankful for repentance. What I mean by that is this, when under fire I see even more what a wretched man that I am and the great need I have for a savior. The "old Adam" constantly looks for means to usurp Christ from the center of life and to install self as king supreme. Self-glory inheres in our very natures. 

My dear wife and I were speaking to a social worker the other day in order to gather resources dealing with Acute Leukemia. The social worker was very helpful for the most part, but then came the talk of "self." She spoke of my wife doing x,y,z in order to uplift herself and thereby gain some strength. This sort of talk is nothing but Law. What if doing x,y,z doesn't work? The answer is that one will collapse into despair, since we really aren't strong enough to lift up ourselves. Besides, "feeling good" is not the ultimate measure of a happy, successful, life. The social worker prescribed doing things to "feel good" about self; which is all the sinful, natural, man knows to do. We see this notion of "doing things to 'feel good' about self" everywhere we look in this fallen world. The world is broken, and people know only to apply the law to the brokenness. It takes a gift of faith, given to us by the Holy Spirit through the Word, to know that we are broken beyond self-repair and that we need a divine doctor to heal us. We don't need to feel good, we need Christ Jesus.

Twelve days into the new year and my wife and I count on receiving the forgiveness of our sins each Sunday in the divine service. Indeed, it is truly a blessing to know that we attend a service where our feelings aren't being manipulated by a praise band or by a fiery sermon meant to elicit some sort of emotional response. It is comforting to attend a divine service where the center is Christ Jesus. Yes, where the entirety of worship is about Christ coming to us with His gifts, serving us, and healing us. The focus of such as service is not about feeling good about ourselves. And, it is not about what a good job we can do in worshiping God. So many Christians are sinking under the weight of the boot of the law in many congregations where the worship service has become something about what we can do for God; that is, worship is law. What sort of comfort does the sick find in a "worship service" which demands they should be fit enough to serve Christ? Imagine, if you will, the dying, gasping for breath, and being told that they must breathe in order to be healed! Or, to put a finer point on it, imagine telling a cancer patient they must heal themselves. That is precisely what a law driven "worship service" does. All one can obtain from such law driven "worship" is ultimately despair. There is little soothing Gospel in such a place. No, it is comforting to attend the Lord's Service, since He bids us to come as we are and it is He who serves us, it is He who does the work of healing. He dispenses the divine medicine of the forgiveness of sins through His Word and Sacrament! 

Twelve days later and I know that I am a sinner. I also know that I have been granted repentance by God out of His mercy and love for me. Such a jewel we have in repentance! I am so thankful to my Lord that He brings His Holy Word to me so that I can hear solid law and gospel. Thus, He drives me to repentance and then forgives me of all my sins out of His immense love. What more do I need? I am a baptized child of God, pardoned for the sake of Christ. Amen!